I am – Alba’s Lingerie

It must be nice to be rich. You can go into Agent Provocateur and buy all the luxury lingerie you want to wear from your boyfriend named Cash Money, without a care in the world. It’s like you wake in the morning and say to yourself “I want to slut out tonight to spice up my relationship, because I am an actor, and performing is what I do, even when in the bedroom with you”. Dude, the only thing my wife’s ever dressed up as for me is a fucking pumpkin, and it wasn’t deliberate she had some fuckin rash that turned her gut orange and we just made a game out of it. I always had a thing for pumpkins, probably because I never got to carve them on Halloween like the other kids, I was too busy reading the bible with my foster parents who told me Halloween was Satan’s holiday. Point of this is to say, Merry Christmas.

I am – Alba’s Lingerie December 22nd, 2005