I have said it before, I like to repeat myself, because I never remember who I said it to. It could have been on this site, but my archives got fucked in the move, unlike me, I never get fucked, and when I do, it’s by something you wouldn’t want to get fucked by and it’s really not by choice, but that’s no the point of this story. Pregnancy is the worse STD a bitch can get, I know all you anti-abortion jesus lovers are thinking “pregnancy is beautiful, it’s what keeps our religion alive”. But I come from a different school of thought and that is that kids follow you around for life, they mooch off you and cost you money, you have no control as to whether they are going to be cute or not, they never respect you and most importantly, they destroy your body, there’s no full recovery. I’m talking nothing ever fully whips back into shape, not the assaulted cooter, not the milk-bag feeding sack titties, not the belly or the ass…it may look like it does sometimes, but that’s just smoke and mirrors. Now, look at Britney’s nipple, the fucker is bigger than my head. You can’t tell me this shit’s sexy, in two years from now, she’ll write a memoir and in it, it will say “I wish K-Fed only gave me herpes, not herpes and a baby, ya’ll”. That’s my fucking story.