When I look at these pictures of Lohan made out of wax, I can’t help but think of the sex shop I used to work at for a while. I was the night shift clerk and I had to deal with all the fucking freakshows who would come in at 2 am and jerk off in the back of the store to the Nina Hartley pussy mold….I would have to run them out of the store with a broom and a lot of the time, I was too fucking late…so there I am, on my knees cleaning some drunken homeless guy’s cum off a plastic pussy mold, for 5 dollars an hour.
Now, I don’t have the luxury of flying down to this museum to check if they made Lohan a vagina or not, like the sex doll I am pretending this wax statue is but I guess since bitch is made out of wax, we could always melt one in and take turns fucking her. Despite the fact she looks like a washed up tranny who just finished singing “I will survive” at a drag show, I’d still try to get the wax Lohan pregnant, because it’s probably the closest thing I will get to slammin’ Lohan….I know you’d think she’d be easy, considering she’s fucked half of hollywood, but I am not in Hollywood. I suck at life.