I am – Tori Spelling's Tit Disease

It annoys me that everyone hates on Tori Spelling’s cleavage because it’s got a weird space in it that shouldn’t be there. It looks like bitch has been beat down with a baseball bat and left to die, or was in a car accident smashin’ in her ribs against the steering wheel and either way, I find it boring to listen to. I actually appreciate the mangled tits, because it takes my attention away from her horse face. Not that I hate horses, I always had a thing for competitive jumping because all the girls who do it are rich waspy girls, and Christopher Reeves, well not anymore. We all know that by the time these Waspy rich girls are 18, they’ll already be slamming black dudes, doing heroin for fun and eating pussy in night clubs, while living in the pool house, off their trust fund all because daddy gave them horses and not hugs. Competitve horse back riding breeds trashy rich whores you see on shows like intervention…I am waking up, watching the view and Star Jones just said “What?! What?!” about LL Cool J’s performance, that was so Hip Hop of her. Nothing I say will be that funny.



Bonus: Tori Spelling and Her D-List Celeb Husband

I am – Tori Spelling's Tit Disease April 14th, 2006