Reality is that DrunkenStepfather becomes a way of life, and despite Drunken Step Steve’s departure from my couch, he’s still part of this whole thing. He’s reviewing some music festival that sounds BORING as fuck and none of you probably care about what he has to say, I am posting it anyway….
Drunken Step Steve’s NXNE Review pt. 1.
Okay, so I’m back. Drunken Step Steve has returned. Not to Montreal, but to the internet. I am here in Toronto, where the 3 day festival known as North by Northeast (NXNE) is taking place, this weekend.
I kicked off the festival by attending the over-hyped opening party on Wednesday, which sucked.
Last night (Thursday), I went to check out a band called Kover at the Big Bop building on Queen Street. If you are thinking I went to see this band because I heard they were good, you are wrong. I went because a female friend of mine had seen the lead singer on Myspace and thought he was cute. Needless to say if I had known that was why we were going before I got there, I would have never gone.
My night didn’t end there. After the shitty show, I went to the local indie-rock, hipster bar called The Queenshead, not because it was part of the festival, but because I was in need of cheap beer but my friend Blake couldn’t get in because he got in a fight with the bouncer a week earlier.
I decided to roll the dice one more time and check out The Bovine Sex Club, a cool little bar if you are into almost hot, almost goth looking girls…and Jagermeister.
The Bovine made my night. Not only was Glam Rocker (see: complete loser) Robin Black and his band of Intergalactic rockstars playing the worst show in the history of music, but I also ran into my drinking buddy Sarah. When she drinks, she suddenly becomes the mayor of the town, and doesn’t give a fuck if you like it or not.
After Robin Black stopped doing whatever he was doing on stage, and made his way through the crowd, Mayor Sarah decided to pinch his bare chest until he grabbed her and said “can you please stop pinching me, it really hurts you know!”.
My night is complete. I am now drunk and a D-list Toronto celebrity has asked my friend to stop pinching him, because it really hurts, you know.
I left, put Blake in an abandoned shopping cart we found outside the bar, and ran him the 10 blocks back to where I am staying.
Now I am here, about to fall asleep on someone else’s couch, once again. It seems to be the ongoing theme of my life. This is where the story ends. Good night.
Festively yours,
Steve.
UPDATE: The front desk just called and asked us to remove the shopping cart from the fountain in the courtyard. Amazing.
Completely Unrelated Stepfather Pictures of Sly Stalone Shadow Boxing cuz he’s in Rocky, Get It? He’s Trying to PROMOTE his UPCOMING movie….