I have heard stories about his bitch. Those stories were about how much of a coked out party slut she is. I have decided that I am jealous of coked out party sluts because whenever I party hard enough to be considered a coked out party slut, I feel my heart giving out. My heart sucks.
Sienna Miller is also involved in being the biggest scandal in TV since the dad in happy days slammed Urkel up the ass. I don’t know what that means but I am keeping it in this post because I wrote it a few hours ago while wasted and after re-reading it, have no idea where I was going with it.
It is 7:30 AM and nothing exciting is going on. My cunt of a wife kept me up with this gurgling sound she makes when breathing. I am convinced that her lungs are filling up with cookie dough ice cream, but I am no expert.