I see it as only fitting to make this announcement to some new Victoria Silvstedt Lingerie pictures. If you are wondering what Victoria Silvstedt has to do with my cancer results, it’s pretty simple. This bitch had her legal team from France and NYC try to bring me down back in the beginning of the summer, thus making her a cancer to this site, like the cancer in my nose, which I am happy to say is not cancer. The biopsy sample did not have enough tissue to have a conclusive result, which surprised me, because when I had the biopsy it felt like the motherfuckers ripped a fucking baseball out of my throat through my fucking nose. The doctors decided to not go ahead with another biopsy now, meaning they don’t think it’s cancer and that’s good enough for me because Cancer, like Victoria Silvstedt is a fucking cunt.
I have received a lot of great supportive emails and myspace messages from 2 of my 5 readers, you know who you are. I am happy that you 2 people really dig what I am doing, so in response I decided to send you both a recycled myspace message since you were so supportive. I know you would rather it be a more personalized message but admit you had no idea that this was a recycled message and remember that without anyone to send the recycled myspace message to, there wouldn’t be a recycled myspace message to laugh at. So I do declare that it is too funny to give up on now. Just think of yourselves as part of something big.
Dear ___________,
If I had known you were so hot – I would have masturbated to your pictures while the real jesus watched me sin all over my belly.
Too bad I am impotent, not important. It could have been fun.
I appreciate your love and support and I hope one day we can cuddle
With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com
Now, just because I don’t have cancer, doesn’t mean I am going to be a fun-loving, everything is roses and puppies, Real Jesus loving soft-on, because I save the soft-ons for my useless genitals. I leave you with this DrunkenStepfather message: I am glad to be alive, I still hate myself, but not as much as I hate you. Go fuck yourself, now. Cuddles.