I went out to get a coffee because that’s pretty much the only thing I can afford to do for entertainment and it’s a solid excuse to get out of the apartment even if it is only for 10 minutes. The school shooting is over and the story made it to CNN. That means the world was watching and I had the perfect opportunity to do some kind of stepPUBLICITY stunt or at least get some of the fucker students rocking some stepSHIRTS but I am not that quick-moving. I always wished I had a solid following of people who talk about this site in everyday situations like “hey did you see what was on Stepfather” but it will never happen and that’s ok.
When getting my coffee people were talking about the Lohan pussy shot and how the one with panties is the fake. I wanted to go up to them and say that my site was semi-involved in that scandal but instead I just got my coffee because I am not that good at promoting. I also saw a woman with one brown stained tooth in an otherwise toothless mouth lighting up a smoke and she remided me of MUNG’s last post.
Luckily, MUNG sent in a useless update of an email and I am posting it for all of you to read/ignore and comment on/ignore. Remember the more comments you make, the more likely he’ll be to send in another update, so do what’s right for all of our sake.
As I sat down this morning to a delicious hearty breakfast of All Bran (to keep me regular because I have had the trots for the past couple of days), I remembered what it was like back in the day when my bitch of a mother wouldn’t let me have all the cool sugary cereals like Franken Berry, Count Chocula, Boo Berry, Cookie Crisp, Trix and Lucky Charms. What a fucking cunt she was. She would drag me around the fucking market holding my hand to make sure I didn’t throw anything sugary in the cart because I had a weight problem and resembled a giant ball of cookie dough when I was little. We would walk down every aisle in the market except for the fucking cereal aisle. That stupid bitch of a woman knew better. She learned her lesson after the first few times of taking me down the cereal aisle, because I used to throw a giant fit in the middle of the aisle that was comparable to an epileptic seizure when I didn’t get my way. The cereal aisle was the coolest fucking thing in the world. It was the closest thing to Disneyland a little fucker could get. The boxes were trippy as fuck, and had more colours in them than the City of Toronto’s downtown core. How can you tell a kid no? All the other kids got to sit down and watch Thundercats on Saturday morning with a bowl full of Reese’s Puffs and I got to watch my cartoons with a bowl of fucking Grape Nuts.
So today, I went to Sobey’s and bought every fucking box of cereal that had enough sugar in it to kill a diabetic elephant….then I called my Mom. I told her to fuck off, and just to spite her I am going to eat all 6 boxes in one sitting in a giant bowl. I might tell you how it goes later in my next post because this post sucks and probably won’t get posted…but then again, it probably will because you are a lazy fuck and haven’t posted yet today.
I attached some picture of the old boxes from the 80’s that used to entice me so much. They have changed drastically from the new boxes because the new characters on the boxes don’t look strung out on cereal like the old ones do. Just have a good look at Franken Berry. Motherfucker looks like he just shot up.