I am watching Oprah and she is doing a lesbian roadtrip in a Chevy with Gayle. I love watching her being followed by a whole crew/entourage with maps and ear pieces, giving her directions. Not quite the road trip you’d be going on, but then again you aren’t Oprah.
I got this email from some kind of genius:
So I have been given a few celeb phone numbers and I have been calling and texting them from my neighbor’s cell phone, since I can’t really afford one. He’s in on this with me because I am sure what we are doing isn’t illegal, it’s too funny to be illegal. I decided to send Paris, Nicole, Kimmy Stewart and Lohan a message to make them think they were getting “accidental” messages from a man to his mistress. This is what I wrote:
I miss you today more than I did yesterday. Our love burns my soul when I am not with you. The first time we kissed, i knew we were connected at the soul. I wish it happened before I met my cunt wife, then I could always be with you….
The first response came about 10 mins later from some menacing dude named Vinnie who called me to interrogate me about who I am and how I should be scared of him. I was uncomfortable with him calling me at 4 am. I was in bed and wasn’t feeling the conversation so I didn’t rip into him like I normally would have. I couldn’t record it – which is too bad because it was funny but that’s just what happens when you are me.
Paris Replies:
Who is this?
I reply and go to bed :
What’s up with pretending you don’t know! I am in bed my angel, wishing you were here instead of this pig of a woman. Did you just have some cha-chi motherfucker call me as a joke? Talk soon. Cuddles and Love.
I send this earlier this afternoon:
Angel…sorry I took so long to get back to you. I had to do damage control with the wife. She read last night’s msg saying she was a cunt. She wasn’t made about us though! I will be in Maryland next weekened to be with you. I can’t wait. Love you.
Paris Replies:
Who do you think you’re writing?
I reply:
Brenda, quit messing around. We met in July when I came to Maryland. We’ve been in myspace love since February. We ate crab. You’re so silly. Last night you had Vinnie call me and now this. You are a real joker and they’s why I am leaving my wife for you.
Paris Replies:
This isn’t Brenda, I don’t know what ur talking about. I’ve never been to maryland so don’t leave your wife for nothing.
So I write:
What do you mean this isn’t Brenda this is the number you gave me on Friday. You said it was your new cell. Are you telling me that she is trying to avoid me? I was ready to drop everything for her and I still am cuz I know you’re testing me. So funny! This is why I love you.
That’s probably the end of that. Speaking of end – here are some steplinks to end your day with a smile:
They call Camille an Avant- Garde Singer – I call Her Kitchen Garbage.
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Shakira Puts Her Legs Behind Her Head is Some Human Pretzel Slutty Kind of Way
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Mary Kate is Territorial When It Comes To The Men She’s Fuckin….We can All Blame Paris
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I never understood Weird Al – But I did Once Knew a Dude with a Man Crush Him. He ever had a Claymation model he made of him. That’s some Restraining order kind of shit. This is Weird Al’s new Music Video.
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Old Janet Jackson in FHM Pics
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Wynona Rider’s Skin Cancer Naked Billboard from Last Week
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Mary Carey Rides the Sybian at the Howard Stern Show. She’s Pretty Gross But This is Still Hot Because Both Her Parents are Retarded and she passes out.
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Burning Man is Some Weird Shit – Here’s a Gallery from this Year’s Event….
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Here are Some Pics of Jenya from Met Art Naked
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The Stoners Guide to Amsterdam – I didn’t check the site, I am just linking it
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Beckham Shows Off Her Panties
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Sexy Links To Get You Through the Night
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700,000 People Have Seen This Panty Video, Have you?
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2 Ugly Girls Dancing Video….
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Check out these Hot Slags All Wet on Spanish TV
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Kelly Brook Bikini from Last Week
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Kristen Cavalari Myspace Pics
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Interesting Scene at the Bar
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Girls Showering Used to Be a Fetish of Mine
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Open Bar in Austin and there’s no Nipple…
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Vote on the Booble Girl Contest NOW
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Dan From Roseanne on My Shirt – NO WAY!!
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Diaper Porn
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Whore Submission 9
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Pheromones Get Losers Laid
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Speaking of Losers – Here’s Zini’s Gallery – HA – I am Joking – I love Zini
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This is a DO where I come From
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Self Pic of the Day
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This person has a diaper fetish
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Hot Girl From Montreal Who I’ve Never Met
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A little bellydrop action
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