There is something really inappropriate about what I do for a living and the way my brain works. I am still in the coffee shop and a group of 10 year old Jewish girls just sat down next to me. They are obviously rich kids and they are loud and eating their chicken caesers like the senior citizens next to them were 15 minutes ago. I feel like I have just experienced the circle of Jewish life and it is tightly linked to chicken caesers. I am going to LIVEBLOG their lunch.
These girls are going to be dangerous when they are older. They are already in tights and Uggs and they are with their Jewish mother, who is raising them to be future annoying bitches with an eating disorder. She just told them that she can’t eat fries because she needs to go try on a dress and the daughter just told her that Ilal the Israeli personal trainer is going to be mad. Then the mom just said she’s so proud of her daughter because she is letting her nails grow and now the daughter is saying that she can’t eat anymore because she won’t fit into her dress. I guess this is some monkey see monkey do shit. Now, the mother is telling the girls that they have big teeth, but not to worry, they are fixable and this shallowness is fucking amazing. You know the dad’s are at the office making millions while the mom is spending her day ruining these girls. The mom just got up to pay and the girls started talking about making out with boys in their class. They are 10. When I was 10, I was too busy learning English and being beat up by Texans to worry about seducing the lady’s in my class. I predict teenage pregnancy, but since they are Jewish and don’t want the neighbors to know, I also predict teenage abortion. Enough of this….
The reason that I said I was inappropriate is not because I was thinking dirty thoughts, I am inappropriate because I was cropping pictures of this Italian slut topless and there’s something really creepy about a man in a winter hat cropping titty pics with the elementary school graduation committee next to him. I have no idea who Adriana Volpe is but I can guarantee these are really old pictures because I am a lazy blogger like that and I am never up to date. That’s enough for this post because it’s really not where I want it to be…that means not so funny.