The Victoria Secret Fashion Show was on last night, but the pictures were out weeks ago. So I decided to post some of the washed-up lookin’ Gisele Buncheon outside the late show 2 days ago promoting it….
Since I don’t have cable, I can’t watch the Victoria Secret’s Fashion Show, which is okay considering watching a bunch of hot lingerie models running around in a pre-recorded show is less interesting than scrambled porn. I figured virgin-bloggers everywhere would also live-blog this show, but realize that other virgin bloggers who have been waiting all year for this to come out have other things on their mind for the next hour that involves masturbating.
Since I don’t have cable, I live blogged the hour the Fashion Show was on…..So here it goes….
10:00 – Went to store to get a beer and to ponder how I am going to deal with this no-cable issue I got going on here. I bought candy a beer and the total was $5.75 that I stole from my wife.
10:10 – Back home on the couch, looking for a channel to watch…found one…it’s the National Canadian news…Amazing…
10:15 – big houses cause a big stir in suburban vancouver
10:18 – Cyber-Chondria is the new news segment and it’s so fucking relevant to my life, because I am a google, webMD, addict. Whenever something is wrong I know I’ve got it. I was too busy writing this to hear what they had to say, but it’s nice to know I am not the only one…..Last night I thought I had anxiety because of a caffeine allergy that simulates psychosis….
10:20 – New York Banned Trans fats…Sucks for you Fatty….
10:21 – A Million Dollars for The Hepburn Dress in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Fascinating….
10:26 – 7 days in a school ranked the worst..Can Some Reporter hack it as a teacher. It’s part of a series called 7 days in someone else’s shoes, which is pretty genius and was a TV show concept I had because I always wanted to be a truck driver, bartender, librarian, dance instructor, strip club dj. zoo keeper, cafeteria worker, and the list goes on. The network I pitched it to, never answered my email.
In this school, there is a dumpster that says “Rape Me” and a church that says “God Hates Us All” across the door….sounds like MUNG’s hometown…
10:34 – This kid is on Ritalin because he had fetal alcohol poisoning….I may be an asshole, but can’t rag on kids for having shitty parents…If you’re reading this don’t be shitty parents. I wonder who is in their bra right now…strutting down the runway….I guess I’ll never know unless one of the virgin bloggers live blogged this which is unlikely, cuz this is the shit they wait to jerk off to all year long….
10:38 – Another kid didn’t have any dinner or breakfast because their parents were passed out drunk.
10:46 – Principle Steve Sets the Reporter Straight. I have a Steve in my life, a fallen stepSOLDIER. I just opened my beer and spilt a little on the couch he lived on in his memory….There are so many X-Mas commercials on and I just realized that my Christmas Vacation started when I got fired from the factory last december…Lesson of the year is that making myself famous doesn’t make me money…
10:50 – Is the fashion show over yet?
10:57 – The News is over and so is this post…..CUDDLES…
I didn’t re-read this but I am sure if you’ve made it this far, you loved it. You’re so easy to please.