I wrote DJ AM a Letter.
Dear DJ AM,
I have been sitting on these pics for over a week now and I wasn’t sure if I should send them to you, because on the surface it seemed like a real asshole thing to do. I was never the kind of guy to take pics of the girl I am fucking and send them to her ex-bf, although maybe I should have been.
That said, I am not a Good Charlotte fan and I hate twins because they are like the twilight zone. Don’t feel bad that she was out kissing him on New Years Eve because she’s probably just doing it to piss you off even though she looks like she’s having the time of her life and is madly in love.
Just remember, you banged her first, you know exactly what her post heroin addict pre-Hilary Duff sloppy seconds of a pussy smelled like. She helped you launch your career and maybe she turned your sneaker fetish into a little boy fetish but it is worth the headaches. If not, you probably can get any girl you want, even if she never amounts to the perfection you thought you found in Richie.
Point being that all things come to an end and at least now when you roll around with 12 year old lookin’ slags or 12 year old boys or fat chicks to take you a far away from Richie as you can because it hurts when you think about your time together, you’ll be doing it in an expensive car, with expensive pants on while your expensive hair flows in the wind, all the way back to your expensive home and your expensive bedroom set. You dog, you.
I know you’ll show her.
I’d like to wish you a happy new year, and to many more nights without that smell in your bed.
Attached you’ll find the pics I was referencing.
With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.comPS – I am just a fat guy trying to get attention. Feel free to forward this to all your friends. Cuddles.
and on the beach….