I was about to post this picture of Jessica Simpson’s tit hanging out of her dress yesterday, but replaced it with a picture of Perez Hilton’s pink hair, despite what my really hot stepdaughter told me, while wearing her new sheer Brazilian bikini one of the guys she’s fucking bought her. Anyway, the reason I didn’t post was because I was convinced they were old. I know that never really stopped me in the past but I started getting tons of hate mail about how my shit is stale…not my actual shit which I try not to talk about because with liver problems and my shitty diet, stale shit has never really been an issue…getting it out and keeping it in has been. I guess my bowels are a lot like the sag in Jessica Simpson’s tit, which I love, because perky tits are for lesbians. I wrote something funny about how I hope she goes on tour with John Mayer and the plane goes down, not because I wish death upon people, but because I think it will be a romantic ending to a love affair based solely on her looks, and because John Mayer’s music makes me shit myself….it seemed funnier the first time around, it probably wasn’t.