Today has been shit. I was at the grocery store trying to buy my wife chocolate cake because she’s into that shit and the woman in line in front of me dropped a 20 dollar bill. I stared at the fucker for what felt like hours dreaming of all the fun I could have with it. I had visions of lap dances, and whiskey and cigars and playing in my head while it just looked back at me begging to be picked up….I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching me, dropped a pack of gum, bent over and grabbed it….I went to the cash, thought I was in the clear when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and told me to give back teh 20 dollars with the bitch who dropped it by his side….I was put on the spot and wasn’t clever enough to get out of it, so I handed it back like the bitch that I am. I suck at life and because of it I am now 20 dollars poorer.
So on the walk home in the rain, I started to daydream about a dude eating fire and everything seemed like it was going to be ok.