I am – The Reason Lohan is Fat of the Day

Lohan is fatter than ever because Lohan has replaced drinking and drugs with coffee and donuts. She is living an American white trash dream, she just needs to throw some soap operas, a trailer and a husband that beats her and this classy slag will be you.

The only reason this picture makes me sick to my stomach is that the first 2 years of my marriage, I’d watch my wife eat a donut a day and anytime I did something I shouldn’t have done, like drink all night, or expose myself to teenage girls on the bus, or have sex with a hooker after a 3 day meth binge forgetting to call home and tell the family where I was, I’d just come home with a couple dozen donuts and bitch would eat that shit up and be too jacked on sugar and fried dough to give me shit for being me….

I can’t dis Lohan for being Lohan, we’re connected at the soul and I am still expecting a callback from all the messages I’ve sent her over the last 6 months. I still have hope.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, I used to call Lohan and leave voicemail messages hoping she’d issue a restraining order so that I’d end up on Access Hollywood. You can see some of the by Clicking This Link

I just did a total blogger move, and I feel like a useless virgin who never leaves his house for fear of people knowing I am a virgin….yes…I feel like you…CUDDLES.

I am – The Reason Lohan is Fat of the Day April 19th, 2007