These pictures are supposed to be from this weekend, but for some reason they look fucking familiar. I went through my archives to try to find them, but couldn’t so I just assume that this Michelle Rodriguez, monkey looking mexican, just isn’t into wearing bikini bottoms. She’s probably got a fat ass, or some weird deformity like testicles that she’s trying to hide, because even though I can’t find the pictures, I know she’s done this before. What’s even weirder is that I have no idea who this bitch is or what movies she’s been in, but I do know what bikinis she wears.
I kinda feel like I did when I was a kid and was into the girl in the apartment complex next door, I knew pretty much everything about her cuz I wanted a piece, not because I followed her around, but because we crossed paths a lot like I’d run into her at her job or at her school or in the neighborhood. At one point, I had run into her often that I couldn’t just go up to her and ask “do you come here often” or “I think I’ve seen you around”, because it would have been awkward and it probably would have made her think I was a creep or a stalker or some shit. I guess what I am trying to get at with this story of lost opportunities and broken dreams is that if you don’t know a bitch’s name, but know what kind of bikini she wears on the regular, you should introduce yourself. So Michelle Rodriguez, my name is Jesus Martinez and I just wrote about you. Cuddles…