So today is Pamela Anderson’s big Valentine’s Day striptease performance at some legendary Parisian club and she is rumored to be going fully nude. Now one would think that this bitch is too old and washed up to be getting naked for anyone other than her Gyno and the random wanderers who have no where better to go, but it turns out that her tits are only about 15 years old and that’s not really counting the upgrades she’s had done to them. So in reality, watching her tits is on some next level pedophilia and that makes me uncomfortable. The good news is that the rest of her is falling apart and I wouldn’t be surprised if her Uterus flew out of her and landed in some french man’s soup. The good news is that french people love soup so that won’t ruin it for him. Like the time I dropped a slice of pizza I bought with my last dollar a few years ago that some asshole spat on because I slapped his girls ass in line waiting…no wait I used that dollar to try to trick a wasted hooker into giving me a blowjob by telling her it was a 100 and I found the pizza on the ground after the asshole beat up the guy in front of me thinking he grabbed his girlfriend’s ass…when it was really me. I guess I have no problem with people I don’t know taking the heat for me…but I do know that hooker I confused tasted a hell of a lot worse than my dirty pizza and I assume Pam Anderson is just somewhere in between.
Either way, good luck with your dance Pam, it may be your last chance to shine and when you’re done will your old lady hepatitis vagina and big ol’ trashy tits be my Valentine?