Here’s my new fetish because the internet has made me way too fuckin’ desensitized and it’s called Belly Button flashing. It’s kinda like when midriff tops made a comeback a decade ago, only more seductive since it’s not being made blatantly obvious. I feel like I’m in a Muslim country and I just got a glimpse skin on a girls leg where the socks and pants don’t meet and I am so hard because of my sexual repression that I am gong to go drive my car into a convenience store, because the browns even own convenience stores in their home countries, that’s how they got so good at it so they could take over here as their strategic entry point. So the next time you’re out buying a pack of smokes or a case of beer and a porn mag, realize that you are supporting terrorism and while you’re doing that, I am supporting Lohan’s decorative belly button see through moment.