I got this email:
Dear Sir,
I was surfing the internet, as I want to do, and somehow I think the devil himself made me stumble across your website. I have never in my life read such cruel, distasteful, and hurtful things in all my life! The people you criticize so harshly have dedicated their lives to working VERY HARD to become successful and you treat them like dirt, in addition to your disgusting personal editorial. I don’t know how you sleep at night. You need to go to church, I will pray for you.
Betsy Rogers
Des Moines, Iowa
I replied:
Thanks Betsy.
I appreciate the email. I am not sure what you are specifically making reference to, but I am glad the “Devil” brought us together.
I don’t believe that the devil actually exists and I guess that means I don’t think God does either. I know that I like to pretend I am the cumming of Christ sometimes, but usually only when I am cumming all over my wife’s ass….because my name is Jesus…she usually wipes it off, so I guess she’s doesn’t really believe in the whole coming of Christ shit either.
I know you don’t know me, but I do have issues with impotency, and sometimes I can’t fuck for weeks. That to me is the closest I’ve ever come to possessed by the devil. No, I’m not talking about my wife’s devil tattoo over he gaping vagina, which was pretty cute when she was younger, but since the weight gain looks more like Texas, I am talking about not being able to do something I really want to do that is out of my control. I guess like a paralyzed dude trying to run a marathon but only being able to roll passed the finish line kind of thing.
Either way, somehow my baby Jesus always shines through and makes an appearance like it was Good Friday and if there was a God, I’d totally give him a high five, but only after washing my hands, because my wife’s a squirter. I was always convinced she was just peeing on me, but we took a sample to the lab and it turns out she was just having really intense orgasms, which is amazing, considering I have no business or skills to make anyone cum, not even myself while watching really raunchy porn.
As for hurting your feelings by making fun of celebrities, all I have to say is that they put themselves out there and are financially compensated in their jobs for any shit I may spew. I am sure it doesn’t hurt their feeling because they are too busy sitting on beaches, doing cocaine and having pre-marital sex…..I think maybe you are confusing me for the devil, when in reality it’s these “role models” who are fuckin’ up the kids by making them image conscious, materialistic, vapid sluts who use their tits to get them ahead are really the devil’s work….maybe together we are on the same spiritual path. Send Nudes.
We should go grab a coffee next time I am in Des Moines, which may be never, since I am sure it’s as shitty there as it sounds and I’d rather be rockin’ out on the beaches of Cancun during college spring break than going to church with you, but if your tits are hot enough, maybe I’ll re-work my vacation plans.
Happy Easter,
Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com
Here are my links:
Some Hot Fuckin’ Slut Showing Off Her Bra With Cum on her Face
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Hot Half Naked Party Girls
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THE DIRTIEST POLITICAL SEX SCANDALS
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A Whole Lot of Kim Kardashian Cuz You Want Her Fat Cunt
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Jenna Jameson’s Pussy for Peta
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Germany’s Next Top Model’s Leaked Topless Pics
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Some Crazy Huge Tit Video
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How To Get Rid of a Hickey
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Karen McDougall is Bruce Willis’ Girlfriend and This is Her Topless for Some Mag
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Some Hot Molly Simms Bikini Photoshoot Video
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Elisha Cuthbert Showing off a Hot Bikini Body
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Catherine Zeta-Jones Has Some Hot Tits
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Sunisa Kim and You Want to Fuck Her
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Here is a Bare Assed American Apparel Ad
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Some Slutty Rebecca Romijn Stamos Photoshoot Pics
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Her Name is Cherokee D’Ass and She’s Admitting To be a Hooker in This Dirty Video
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Top 10 Banana Blow Job Videos
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Mentos Rocket Cunt Punches a Chick Video
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Emily Scott Looks Pretty Amazing in This Photoshoot…
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Some Naked Blonde Amateur Chick
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Her Name is Louise Glover and She is a Rejected WWE Diva You Want to Fuck
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Some Horny Couple Fuck in Public
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You’ll Want to Fuck Miguel Tejada’s Wife
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Emma Watson has a Borderline Upskirt Moment
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Guess the Celebrity Side Boob
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MTV Banned This Gnarls Barkley Video
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How To Make a Bong Out of a SoBe Bottle
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Ivanka Trump is a Spoiled High Maintenance Cunt
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Here’s a Crazy Lowrider Video
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Some Party Girl Showing the Bottom of Her Tits
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Nothing Says Good Times Like a Set of Bouncing Boobs
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Some Security Guard Stripping a Girl Video
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The Tranny is Quitting Pussy Cat Dolls
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Amy Winehouse’s New Party Trick is Snorting Vodka
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Nicole Richie is Showing Off Some Pregnancy Tit
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New Orleans Mayor Supports Vaginas
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How To Make People Naked on Photoshop
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Nickelback Chad Kroeger Can Suck His Own Dick for Beer
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Some Giant Chick in a Chick Fight Video
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Some Coco’s Got Some Crazy Fuckin’ Ass
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Bush and McCain are Lovers
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American Idol Success Leads Sanjaya To Rockin’ Out at Bar Mitzvah’s
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Adriana Lima Ruins an Upskirt Moment
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Gene Simmons is Completely Bald – I just Thought He Had Bad Hair
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A Chick in Booty Shorts and a Bra Shows Us How To Do a Sexy Work Out While Doing the Laundry
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Some Jackass Dancing in His Car Deploys The Airbags Video
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A Whole Lot of Self Shot Amateur Slut Pictures
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This Jewish Kid Doesn’t Believe in God
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Dita Von Teese Does a Burlesque Show in Vegas Video
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Cindy Crawford’s Picture Perfect Family is Obnoxious
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Fuck With Webcam Sluts Cuz You Are Bored and They are Willing
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From Photobucket
Some Nasty Speckled Ass
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FROM THE FORUM
RUN DMC – Tougher Than Leather
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Grandmaster Flash – The Message
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The Blow – Poor aim love songs
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2 Louis XIV CDs
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Velvet Revolver – Melody and Tyranny
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Violent Femmes – Why do Birds Sing?
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Joss Stone – Mind Body and Soul
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Fat Joe – The Elephant in the Room
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What Aim!
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How do You Eat Your Pussy?
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Use this to Find Girls to FUck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
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Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
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