This nipple tape bullshit reminds me of every hipster event I’ve accidentally walked into where girls think it’s not very lesbionic to put electrical tape on their nipples as they wear their mesh shirts. I don’t really fully understand that shit and I don’t really understand how this dude’s job consists of putting tape on a half-famous bitches tits, but it reminds me of the bus boy at the strip club who has to get on stage and shift change to disinfect the shit, only probably less hazardous.
I had this idea of going to the toy store the other day because I figured it would be a good place to be inappropriate. I walked around lookin’ for new mothers to harrass. The best I pulled off yesterday was taking one of those new born baby dolls and going up to the mom and asking her some trivial bullshit question that I knew would have an long drawn out response because new mom’s love talking about themselves as they hang out in their home in their post-partem depression while their husbands stay at at work late banging new pussy. Anyway, as this unsuspecting mom started going off on her rant about formula babies versus breast fed babies I slowly started undressing the doll and touching it inappropriately until she cut the conversation short, didn’t know whether to tell me off, call the authorities or just deal with her own awkwardness and it was funny.
Now I don’t approve of pedophiles and I think it’s some serious sick shit, but I do approve of making people feel ridiculous awkward in seemingly innocent places for a good time using a doll as a prop. I guess I consider creeping out a toy store an accomplishment an accomplishment Amy Smart probably felt when she landed a job that only had one half-assed taped up tit sex scene in it….because covering her nipples seems to be what she’s typecast for. It doesn’t matter – just look at the pics.
Some Tagged Pics Thanks To The Nice People at the Paparazzi Agencies…..Because They Want You To Know Who Owns These Pictures…Kinda Like The Time My Friend Gave Some Slut Herpes So She Would Never Forget Him…Only Not Quite as Nice of a Gesture….