So I was hanging out outside the Maternity store again, not because I thought it would be funny to call the girls walking in sluts as they passed me by, or even give them the eye that I knew what went on in the bedroom to get them into this mess to begin with, but I was there because my wife is fat in the uterus and I like trying to buy shit designed for pregnant girls to hammer the idea in her head that she’s gotta hit the fuckin’ treadmill. I wasn’t actually going to buy her anything because she doesn’t deserve gifts but there was a hot girl who walked in there who I thought needed to be followed in and that’s the line I used to get her to try shit on for me. When I asked when the baby was due, she told me she was there for her sister and thanked me for destroying her self esteem. We really hit it off as she told me to fuck herself and walked away.
That’s when this bull dyke working the cash came up and asked me to leave. I asked her what it was like being amongst all these pregnant chicks all day knowing that she will never have a baby because society doesn’t approve of her having a baby because she’s a lesbian and that’s when she told me that she wasn’t a lesbian but in fact a gay dude named Frank who designs all the clothes in the motherfuckin’ store and that’s the gender confusion I think Pink goes through everyday. You know when a couple of dudes invite her out to the beach to pick up girls cuz they think she’s one of them and she pulls off her t-shirt only to show them her bikini top, making them think she’s playing some kind of practical joke because she’s the one in the group whos a total fuckin’ jokester and they are forced to gang rape out of anger for the lie she fed them and when they find out she has a pussy like that Boys Don’t Cry movie, cuz nothing says I am straight like fuckin’ my homie when I find out my homie has a cunt.
Either way, here she is in a bikini top so take it in as some kind of warning because if she ever comes to your small town lookin’ for friends and beggin’ to jump in on your pickup basketball game or night out at the stripclubs she’s desperate for friends and comes to you, you won’t get caught up in the lie.