I hate nipple slips even though I have made a small fortune off of them and by small fortune I mean that I bought my first case of beer off money made with this site last week, and to me that means I am rich, because up until last week, I was using my wife’s pocket change to support my drinking and that pretty much sucked because she’s on disability and almost as hurtbag as I am.
Either way, it’s nice to know that I got a taste of freedom that I never thought I’d feel because I am too lazy to get a job and it’s nice to know that I got my beer because I post celebrity sluts slippin’ up, but none of that matters to me because I still fucking hate eveything about nipple slips. I hate that people call them wardrobe malfunctions, I hate that half the time a nipple slip involves about 1/4 of an inch of the nipple’s shit stain, I hate that they don’t turn me on and I hate that they aren’t pussy slips.
The only time I like nipple slips is when I am responsible for them, like when I walk down the street and notice a girl isn’t wearing a bra, or when I am at the beach or waterpark and notice a girl’s in a bikini and I creep in and attack her like a fuckin’ shark, pullin her tits out to the world to see before running away so her boyfriend doesn’t rape me as she screams in embarassment, it may never really happen anymore because I am a little more tame than I used to be but when it does it’s fucking legendary, unlike this Blake Lively chick who no one cares about who will be out of a job forever when this Gossip Girl shit is over because she’s ugly and definitely unlike this nipple slip because these fucking pictures fuckin’ suck and that means they are good enough for you.