So it turns out that I was wrong about Tara Reid yesterday.I was under the impression that she was just hanging out at the Ed Hardy booth to get some free clothes to wear out since all her other clothing sponsors pulled out when they realized she was a waste of time, something many men haven’t done when fucking her because they figure she’s made enough money to support them if she gets knocked up, without knowing that she got a hysterectomy to deal with pre-cancerous cells caused by HPV, and it turns out that she was at the trade show launching her own swimwear line, because she has spent the last 5 year old Spring Break. I guess she’s more enterprising than I thought she was and I am sure the tacky party sluts who envy her life will eat this shit up like it was a pile of cocaine in the VIP room.
I have a friend I call Tara Reid. Not because he’s some hot actress I wanted to fuck, but because dude’s fuckin’ useless. His dad died about 5 years ago and he inherited 400,000 dollars and has been living off the shit, going out every night like a permanent vacation and feeding a huge coke habit as he slowly self destructs. He had a few messy encounters with the law, bar owners and girls and has since decided to kick the shit. The other day, I ran into him and we laughed about the last time I saw him and he was passed out on a park bench, trying to secure his balance and 5 in the afternoon and he assured me that he wouldn’t be that messy again, not that I cared, but I guess he was embarrassed. I asked him if he was still hitting the bag and he said there’s no fuckin’ way and about 5 minutes later asked me if I had any for him. It’s nice to see an old dog not learning new tricks, or bullshitting the world and himself, it’s the kind of consistency I appreciate because it manages my expectations and Tara Reid hasn’t let me down by trying to clean up her act yet and I can only hope, that like my friend, her bikini clad slutting out will never change.