Lohan punched a paparazzi in the face and everyone is making a big deal out of the shit. They don’t realize that she didn’t do it because she hates the paparazzi because they are invading her personal space or tripping her at events by cluttering her, she actually likes the paparazzi and considers them her friends and a huge part of her marketing campaign that’s why she always tips them off as to where she is going to be. She did it because she’s a fucking lesbian now, or at least pretending to be a lesbian, and she just finished reading the chapter on hating all things with a dick and doing everything you can to destroy all things with a dick in her lesbian training manual. She she’s just trying to stand her tough guy stance and she’s doing it by straight punches to faces. It’s nice to see that lesbianism hasn’t made her an angry little rat of a person, and that she’s finally at peace now that she’s found herself. I figure all she needs is a good dickin’, like some seriously hardcore fuckin sex to bring her back to that calm, drug addicted Lohan we all loved. I am sure you can relate to the frustration she’s feeling, considering you’ve spent the last couple of years trying to find ways to masturbate that simulates the sex you once had, knowing all the while that it just doesn’t feel the same as doing the real deal. I give Lohan a few more fights before she finally caves in and goes back to cock while Ronson stands on the sidelines upset that her firm controlling grip got loose….
Either way, I hope I get invited to the wedding.