I have been confused as to who likes Katy Perry, because I know that I don’t but there’s got to be people who do, otherwise she wouldn’t be around all the fucking time, leading to me hating her in the first place. I thought maybe it was teenage girls, who liked the bubble gum factor and could relate since they are going through that whole kissing each other phase you masturbate to, then I thought maybe it was office types, who never got wild and kissed a girl, and live vicariously through Katy Perry’s experience while bored at the office, then I was thinking it was mainstream people, who just like what they are told to like, the same people who watch American Idol and buy the Clay Aiken CDs, thinking that there’s something wrong with them if they don’t like the song, and I always forgot that there’s probably a lot of creepy motherfuckers listening to this song, while watching teenage girls on YouTube dancing around in their underwear, you know, the same kind of dude who finds out that Katy Perry is on Leno and sets up his camera to document the performance to archive for later use on YouTube and really enjoying the whole snuff film feel of the whole thing, because it is similar to what he would shoot to document their wedding video, if he ever had the chance to kidnap the bitch and bring her to his cabin in the woods and marry her against her will in hopes of spending the rest of their lives together, before realizing he’s going to go to jail, and if he can’t have her, no one will, so he kills her off to get rid of the evidence, making him a hero in my books, just a really creepy, psycho hero who deserves life in prison for liking her enough to do all this to her in the first place. If you know what I mean.