The Dyslexic Speedreaders are some LA rap group that are made up of a guy named Andre Legacy, a white Soap Star who used to jerk off in Young Hard and Solo videos for money before making it big as an MTV VJ and a few roles on shitty movies like Karate Dog and Scary Movie 4 named Dirt Nasty and Mickey Avalon some ex male prostitute heroin addict from Oregon who probably is none of those things, but that story is good for business and makes your whole “act” more believable, despite everyone knowing that you are a group of celebrity latch-ons from LA which is about as underground as Disney and you may know them from their last myspace hit called My Dick.
I have to admit that I liked Mickey Avalon when he came out hard a couple of years ago on Myspace, before dropping his first album. I even tried to get some local promoter I know to bring them in to do a show because I thought they were going to be big, but it never panned out because the promoter I knew couldn’t afford their 3000 dollar charge at a time when they were pretty much totally unknown here. Now they are probably way more expensive and most of Mickey Avalon’s solo songs are pretty popular with the mainstream 18 year old Jewish girls who were referencing his lyrics on my Facebook all the time, so I guess they’ve made it.
A couple of days ago, I was sent their mix tape to review from their high profile PR company, about 6 weeks after it dropped, I guess they are going after the bottom feeding sites to get some more play and I wasn’t going to do it, despite being a bottom feeding site, but figure why the fuck not, you know having virtually no music knowledge or experience, it’d be a serious relevant thing for people to read. But then I remembered that people don’t actually read my site so why the fuck not try one of these out….
They rap about sex, tea bagging, drugs, porn and the whole thing is probably funny to someone who doesn’t find everything tedious to listen to like me. I can see Frat Boys chanting this shit at parties before gang rapes.The whole thing was pretty boring and a cheap copy of their first album. It’s like they are trying to relive their tried, tested true formula that worked for them a year ago and I don’t find it honest or from the heart or innovative, I find it some shock value candy coated bullshit that never ends, but in all fairness to them, maybe there’s only so much ironic rhymes about gays, fucking, pissing on tits, fucking my girl raw dog even when she asks to use a condom, getting fucked up the ass by a white man with a black mask on, fucking trannies in the ass, that I can take and it is actually good. Maybe, I am just racist and I just don’t think white Jewish people should be rapping and think that they should be doing my taxes or sending out lawyers letters and taking my money, but everyone knows Jewish isn’t a race.
Either way, it’s clear that this is a joke, meant to be funny and not actual music and I feel like I am too much of a hater and taking them too seriously while being too negative towards other people’s craft, so on a positive note, it is better than any song I’ve ever recorded and I think some of the beats are catchy and you should probably take a listen for yourself and formulate your own opinion, because despite it annoying me, I don’t think it’s the worst thing out there and the best song on the mix tape is called 24 hours by the dude Beardo, who isn’t even one of them and I like it because it’s not the same repetitive rap garbage they always do and reminds me of the punk rock I used to listen to in the 90s.
Here’s there Press Realease:
DYSLEXIC SPEEDREADERS TO RELEASE FREE STAR-STUDDED MIX
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Los Angeles, CA (September 1, 2008). What happens when two Hollywood rappers team up with a cracker from Oakland? Ghetto beats and gnarly rhymes slap you in the face. Andre Legacy, Mickey Avalon, and Dirt Nasty (aka Simon Rex) combine to make the most unique rap crew in the continental U.S. (including Hawaii and Puerto Rico). With the recent addition of Beardo to the crew, the Dyslexic Speedreaders have taken the underground hip hop scene to another level.
ÂAfter traveling together and selling out shows all over the world, the Dyslexic Speedreaders have collected enough material to put together their new compilation Shoot to Kill produced by Cisco Adler, Mark Ronsen, Dirt Nasty, and others. Â This highly-anticipated mix of never heard before material will be released to fans worldwide free via the Internet on September 1, 2008.Â
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Adding even more to the appeal of this never heard mix by the same group that came out with the cult hit “MY DICK� is the inclusion of celebrity drops. The flowing lyrics and melodic beats of Dyslexic Speedreaders will be complimented by the  endorsements from their celebrity fans from the likes of DJ AM, Adrian Brody, Paris Hilton, Andy Milonakis, Kimbo Slice, Ron Artest, Lil Jon, Travis Barker, Perez Hilton, Mark Ronson, among others. For the Dyslexic Speedreaders, giving back to their fans has never been so “craker-ass fantastic!�
Shit, Andy Milonakis is a fan, I’d like to retract my previous review and replace it with, OMG ANDY MILONAKIS LIKE THEM THEY MUST BE AMAZING…..