The paparazzi amaze me. They are like computer databases or some shit, I’m talking having IMDB or Wikipedia memorized or some shit, because to be out on the beach in Miami and to know that this girl in her bikini is someone on TV in another country, is pretty fucking amazing. I have a hard enough time recognizing my stepkids and their friends if I see them out in the bar, maybe it’s because they are embarrassed that I’m there, but I think it’s got more to do with me having no capacity to recognize people even if I know them, but for some reason, the paparazzi know. Maybe they are aliens, but I’m thinkin’ their more like money hungry immigrants who know that somewhere this bitch is worth money and that’s what keeps them up all night memorizing this shit, or maybe it’s just because the paparazzi are a fuckin scam and the reality is that PR agents are hiring them to show up and snap some pics and giving them the right to sell them as they are their own, because everyone fuckin’ knows that magazines will buy them, creating more buzz about the slut in the picture, leading to more jobs, and everyone’s happy, except me, because I don’t like the lies of their system and am a lot happier with nude pics taken from peepholes drilled in hotel bathrooms, than the candy-coated version of that shit.
So here’s Emma Rigby someone no one’s heard of, but who is obviously trying to generate some buzz, and she’s wearing a bikini. She’s on a show called Hollyoaks I guess she’s trying to break into America, since it is the promised land of opportunity and shit.