So I was I somehow managed to get on this Ryan Seacrest email list that his radio sends out to and for some reason they didn’t BCC the shit…and it went like this:
Ryan Seacrest exclusively revealed Thursday that Madonna, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake will still hit the stage together despite a major section of the stage being damaged.
Â
Cordially,

ST
So I responded to all:
If you knew how much I jerked off to Ryan Seacrest and his amazing hair, you’d be sending me restraining orders and not links to his site, but since I appreciate all things Ryan Seacrest, I am totally hard over this email. I hope that doesn’t offend anyone.
Cordially and With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com
I am posting it because I got a kick out of it, but the this girl didn’t, I guess she’s a real fan of Seacrest.
You’re fat and shy in real life. And your website is the biggest piece of misogynistic shit on the Internet.Â
Shame they haven’t come up with such a thing as retroactive abortions.Â
And my response:
I am shy and fat on the internet too. Don’t hate me, I didn’t invite fat chicks.
Love
Jesus
ps -Good retroactive abortion joke, did you get that at your rape victims survivor class, you penis hating cunt.