So someone I was expecting to meet up with for a drink tonight never called me. I don’t entirely blame them because I am the kind of person I would cross the street to avoid if I unfortunately knew me, but I figured I’d let them know how I felt in an email….This is what I wrote….
Subject: Get Well Soon….
I wanted to wish you a speedy recovery from the  horrible car accident you were in, because that’s pretty much the only excuse I’ll be willing to accept for you not calling me to go out for a drink when you said you were going to. In fact, I hope you died in the accident so that I don’t have to make plans around you, only to get ditched by you ever again. I will spit on your grave you piece of fucking shit.
What are you up to tomorrow night?
Love Jesus
I wasn’t actually mad, I’m just trying to leave my mark and I was just concerned about her well-being, but I have a feeling this bird won’t get the joke like you won’t get these links….
A Predictable Table Prank is Always Good for a Laugh
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Naked Rock and Roll Daughter Prove That Drugs Fuck Sperm Count Up
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Aria Giovanni Teaches You How to Make a Grilled Cheese With Her Tits
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Learn About Tina Fey’s Scar and How She Got It…
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I Don’t Know Who Anna Friel Is, But This Is Her Pussy
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Some Chick Pretending to Amanda Bynes in This Video I Don’t Understand
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This Slut Eva is Glorious
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Britney Spears Would Like to Apologize
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Scarlett Johansson Covering Up Her Tits
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Kirsten Dunst has a Stalker and He’s Obviously Crazy Because He’s Stalking Her….
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Everything That Has Ever Come From Japan is Amazing
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Vin Diesel’s Wife is Way Too Good For Him
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Shauna Sand Got Beat the Fuck Up
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Pussycat Dolls Rocking Some Lingerie Cuz That’s Pretty Much What They Do
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Some Chick Opening a Beer With Her Tits
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Used School Girl Panties are Popular in Japan…Big Surprise
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The 12 Worst Mall Santas….
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Some Pictures of Chicks Beating Up Guys
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The Pussy Cat Dolls Performing at the Viper Room and the Sluts Who Went Out to See Them…
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The Evel Knieval Estate Auction….If You Were a Fan…
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French People Have the Biggest Dicks in Europe
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Some Angelina Jolie Gallery for Old Time’s Sake…
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Man, Ivana Trump Doesn’t Waste Any Time
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Your Tax Dollars At Work
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Gemma Atkinson in a Swimsuit is Fine By Me
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The 7 Hottest Scarred Women
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Miranda Kerr May Not Be Engaged, But That Still Doesn’t Mean She Would Fuck You
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Do These Bitches From Victoria’s Secret Ever Sleep?
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Victoria Silvstedt No Panties Upkirt Throwback
Because She Almost Sued Me Onces
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A Christmas Light Show Like You’ve Never Seen
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Jana Jordan is Hot
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Pussycat Dolls in Their Live Performance
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Jungle Jane is Lovely
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Penelope Cruz, WTF Are You Wearing?
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Fuck You Beyonce, BritNey and Xtina, TINA TURNER is Where It’s At
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Let’s Play Marathon
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Striptease of the Day
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Holly Valance Does German FHM
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Sickos Make Girls Puke
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Heather and Lela Will Make You Day Better
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Stephan Colbert Has a Dream To Bring That Bitch Kanye Down….
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Ashlynn Brooke is the Treat of the Month
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Monique Luchese’s Name Doesn’t Matter. Her Body, However, Does
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Barry is Man of the Year
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Sean Penn Likes to Be Gay
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Natalie Marie is Your Playboy Babe
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Square Dance Fun
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The Inner Demon
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Is this Kid Scared or Excited?
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Some Help a Brother Out Links……
Naked Girls on Webcam are Better than Your Mom Checking In On You on Her New Macbook Ichat Program….
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This Spray Is Proven to Get You Pussy
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Some Chick Does The Cat Fish Dance While Fishing With Her Fat Tits
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Seduce Local Girls Who Want to Fuck..
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Find New Porn To Jerk Off To
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Hamster on a Piano
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Some Rope Swing Disaster
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A Couple Tacky Vegas Whores…
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BONUS – Sean Avery Calling Elisha Cuthbert Sloppy Seconds to dis her Hockey Boyfriend Dion Phaneuf and it is Funny… Even coming from a Hockey Player…..and I Hate Hockey…and People Who Play It….
To translate his Canadian Accent….
“I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada,” Avery said. “I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about. Enjoy the game tonight.”