I tried getting into a club last night when I was wasted and the guy working the door told me to lose 30 pounds and get 20 years younger and to maybe take a shower and then he pushed me, so I went to emotionally eat some of the greasiest pizza and I am not talking John Travolta Grease, I am talking heart attack grease and I was surrounded by people fat enough to make me lose my appetite, even though I don’t generally care about that kind of thing and embrace impending death. Then one of the fattest guys I ever saw came up to me to tell me I looked like a fat version of one of his friends and that he needed a picture, when I told the guy that in my head I am not a fatter version of anything except maybe Perez Hilton, he tried to justify his dis by slapping at his fat belly saying that there’s nothing wrong with being fat, but the damage was done and I guess I have to accept that eventually I was going to turn into my wife, only instead of wearing matching Hawaiian shirts on vacation, we wear matching guts everyday and that almost makes me want to start working out and eating better, but not just yet, maybe next week and while I sit here eating my donuts, you can click on these links…..they are good.
Peta Is Just Is Fucked Up
GO
I Need As Much As I Can Get of Amanda Bynes
GO
The 15 Hottest New Porn Stars
GO
Nikki Cox’s Lips Are Just Too Fucking Much
GO
Banana Fireworks Fun
GO
Nessa Will Make a Small Portion of Your Dreams Come True
GO
Porn, What Is It Good For?
GO
George Lucas’ Doodles From the Set of Star Wars
GO
Sacha Cohen Movie is Going to Piss Everyone Right the Fuck Off
GO
More From the Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show
GO
Diane Kruger Panty Upskirt
GO
Kanye West Really Just Wants to Ruin His Career Completely
GO
Maybe Lohan and Ronson Did Break Up Afterall
GO
Katy Perry and Eva LongWHOREia Are Ugly
GO
Hohan Wants Sean Penn’s Peen So Bad She Can Taste It
GO
Megan Foxe’s Audition Tape for Transformers
GO
Strip Go Karting Looks Like My Kind of Sport
GO
Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO
In Here, a Tiger Eats This Guys Head Off
GO
Lisen Wants to Invite You In
GO
Respect My Authority or Get Knocked the Fuck Out
GO
Web Cam Bobie Collection
GO
Because Every Guy Need a Few Proper Sluts i
GO
David Beckham’s Son Drives a Porche. And He is Six.
GO
Angelina Jolie is About to Known Anne Hatheway the Fuck Out
GO
Kid Slaps His Dad With a DVD
GO
Brooke Burke is Full Bangable
GO
Lorena Has Legs For Days
GO
Man Evan Rachel Wood Really Gets Around
GO
God Damn I Love Kate Beckinsale
GO
Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO
Katie Price is in Lingerie
GO
Head Between the Titties
GO
Japanese Black Face is a Bit Racialist IMO
GO
Alexa Loren is a Cowgirl
GO
Olivia Munn In Her Bikini for the Nerds.
GO
Pregnant Ghetto Fight At Chucky Cheese
GO
Make Your Own Wide Angle/Fish Eye Photo Lense
GO
WTF is Wrong With This Vagina?
GO
The Olsen Twins Need to Eat Some Fucking Food
GO
Juno – The Alternate Endings
GO
Some Drunken Housewive’s Flashin’ Their Asses…
GO
Amount of Calories Burned with Different Sexual Positions.
GO
A Couple BLonde Whores You’d Expect To Be Sucking Dick on Video By The End of the Night
GO