I’ll be the first to admit I was pretty damn lazy today. I mean I only did a handful of played out posts, unlike every other day of my fucking life. The truth is I was gambling. I was out trying to win my retirement, and it didn’t work. It turns out that 10 dollars doesn’t become 1,000,000 dollars as easy as it should, but I met a hot 95 year old killin’ her fortune so that her cocksuckin’ kids don’t get it when she dies. We hit it off, mainly because I liked her full tits, even though they were disgusting, but for some reason she didn’t appreciate me stealing her quarters, cunt. She also kept making me drink Bloody Mary’s, something I never touch, even when hungover, and now I feel like my shit will be red. Good fucking times.
Speaking of good times, here are my links…Here are my links…yes I said that twice, I am drunk.
Ryan Seacrest Got Shut the Fuck Down
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Lexie is a Real College Cutie
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The Hottest Porn Star Pics From the Awards Show
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Joanna Krupa Short Short’s on the Cover of Some Magazine or Another
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Lady Gaga Looks Like a Tranny Hooker on the Set of Her New Video
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Long Distance Relationship Losers
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Meat Heroes
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Kate J Says How Do You Do
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Steven and Stephen Fist Themselves
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Japanese Louis Armstrong
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Free Cake is Still Free Cake
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More Porn Than Ever I Know What to Do With
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Striptease of the Day
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Richard Simmons Gets His Vagina Size On
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I Don’t Know Who Christina Derosa Is, But Here She is Naked on the Set Of Her New Movie
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It’s Not a Slip of the Word ‘Cunt, But Beggars Can’t BE Choosy
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Tina Fey Looks Pretty Hot at the Golden Globes
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Megan Fox Needs to Do Us All a Favor and Take That Dress Off
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Drew Barrymore = Golden Globes FAIL
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Girls Aloud Get Their Gallery On
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Raven Riley Gets The Dishes Done
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Find a Girl to Fuck, Because That Girl Your Holding Captive May Just Escape Soon
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Worst Female Driver
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Inner Tube Terror
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Quick Change Orgasm
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The Breast Game Show EVER
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Amy Winehouse is Going to Get Taken to the Cleaners, and I Don’t Mean
She is Finally Going to Take a Fucking Bath
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Who Says Going to the Mechanic Sucks?
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Because If You Don’t Have a Girlfriend By Now, There’s Just No Hope
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THE BEST VIDEO VERSION OF I KISSED A GIRL
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Arnold Schwarzenegger Really Is Just an Old Man
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A Fine Rack is Better Than a Wine Rack if You Ask Me
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A Taco Bell Wedding
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You Won’t Believe the Update From The Virginity Auction
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Get Sex Today, Because I Know You Have Nothing Better to Do
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Kate Beckinsale is All Sorts of Golden Globe Sexy
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Jennifer and Stephanie Are in the Panties
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Build Yourself a Miniture Airplane
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Cameron Diaz May Hae Got Herself in a Whole Load of Shit
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Martha Stewart Broke Up a Lesbian Orgy in Prison
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Eva Mendes is Just Stunning
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Mr.T in Informercials is Fine By Me
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Sorry, Your Vagina is Fucked
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Nicole Kidman Has the Crasiest Camel Toe Ever
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Bride Wars is Most Probably the Worst Movie of the Year
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BONUS:
Waste Time Like You Never Have Before
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