When I was growing up I had a poor friend. Dude wasn’t as poor as my family back in Mexico, but he was fucking poor compared to everyone else in my school. He would wear the same jogging suit, he would always smell, he was always greasy and had muddy hands, he was skinny and grey, had black teeth and chain smoked and was only 12. I remember he’d never have school lunches, he’d always beg for my bologna sandwiches and he was fucking angry and annoying as shit.
One day he came to school with a paperbag that was filled with candy. I am talking a paper bag filled with fucking candy and dude carried that thing around like it his life depended on it. No other kids asked for any candy because they were disgusted by him, but he still got nervous if you got close to it as if it would disappear and he’d never get to eat it. By the end of the week, shit was getting tired, the bag was ripped and falling apart, but everywhere he went that fucking bag went with him.
Aubrey O’Day reminds me of that kid. You know going everywhere with her Playboy cover because it’s all she has going for her. She’s beating that shit like a dead horse, or even like a retarded kid who got a trophy for participating in Track and Field who just won’t let it go because he’s retarded and feels so fucking honored and special, despite everyone in the class getting the same fucking trophy. If you know what I mean.
I guess the good news is that she’s doin’ it all with some crazy cleavage and I couldn’t ask for much more from a slut, except for maybe a porn tape, but I’m sure that’s on it’s way….
Here she is talking about herself on Chelsea Lately…