If you’re wondering how Shauna Sand maintains her beautiful appearance, it’s not just with investing a lot of money into botched plastic surgery, but the attention she spends on the little details, like getting manicures, gets her fake hair put in, puts her dirty make-up on, buying just the right dress from the discount bin at the sex shop and clear plastic platform shoes at the stripper supply store, which are apparently very expensive and therefore pretty fucking classy. You know being trashy and holding onto your useless sex appeal isn’t easy, it’s not just collecting welfare checks and beating your wife, it takes fuckin’ work. So next time you see a dolled up lookin’ whore that looks like a dead person, stop hatin’ and laughing and pull out 10 dolalrs and grab her useless tits.