I went grocery shopping for the first time in months because I didn’t have a fridge. I was trying to seduce some dude’s wife who was in workout gear when I managed to make an asshole of myself by dropping a container of pre-made chili all over the fucking place. Everyone around me looked and saw the mess I made, but I figured I’d try to sneak off to another section of the grocery store, so that they wouldn’t bust me and make me pay. A minute later, I got hit up by the manager and he interrogated me about the fuckin’ chili. When I denied any involvement, dude pointed down to my pants and I was covered in the fuckin’ shit. Had I known, I probably would have snuck out of the place instead of into another aisle. I tried to reverse it, you know lie about it and say I slipped on their mess and wanted to sue for new pants, but instead, I had to spend the 6 dollars I went their with on something I couldn’t even eat because I suck at life. The good news is I made his staff scoop it into a bag for me because I can’t let dinner go to waste and it’ll be fun watching my wife scarf the shit down and wonder why there’s a used band aid in the motherfucker.
Now I am deciding whether or not I should go to the strippers to drop 20 dollars on a set of tits that want nothing to do with me but have to pretend that they do for a solid 2 songs.
Here are my links.
These Girls Get Nude and Let You Watch
GO
Phil Spector is Guilty
GO
Check Out th Sluts From the Miss USA Pagent
GO
The Shawshank Rap
GO
Close Up Pics Of Vivica Fox’s Tits
GO
The Unicorn Prophecy Sounds Like Something Decidedly Homo, and Guess What, You’re Right
GO
Man Tori Spelling is Just Looking Fucked Up
GO
Carina in the Shower
GO
Fuck Me I Wish I Had Been Born Not Fat So I Could Skate Board
GO
Nothing Motivates a Boxer Like Knife Wounds
GO
Yahho Answers Continues to Amaze
GO
Striptease of the Day
GO
Have You Ever Wondered Why the Pizza at Dominoes Tastes Like Greasy Ass?
Well, Here Is Your Answer
GO
Megan Fox Just Ain’t The Marrying Type
GO
Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO
Jen Aniston Does It Doggy Style
GO
Naomi Watts Pokies Throwbacks
GO
Evan Rachel Wood is Fucking Marilyn Manson Again
GO
Here’s the Blonde Who Broke Up Mel Gibson’s Marriage
GO
Charlize Theron Always Makes My Day Better
GO
Audrey Bitoni is Pretty In Pink
GO
Jamie Foxx and His Friends Hate Miley Cyrus and It’s Amazing
GO
Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO
Sexy Work Out
GO
Louisa Does that Thing She Does
GO
Drunken Ninja Turtle
GO
That’s It!! I Want a DIVORCE!
GO
Zoe Saldana is Giving me Dirty Thoughts
GO
Louise Porter Topless Throback
GO
3 Sluts, Toys and Tongues
GO
Jennifer Love Hewitt in Maxim
GO
When Mary Carey Met a Homeless Man
GO
Louise Glover and Emily Dean
GO
Some Blake Lively Cosmo Outtakes
GO
Why Hello Adrianne Manning
GO
Bask in Beyonce
GO
Help!!! My Boobs Are Too Big
GO
Tribute to Marilyn Chambers Video of Her Explaining How She Sucks Dick….I am a Fan….
GO
We All Need Way to Pass the Days Somehow
GO
I need you’re fucking support on this motherfuckin one….
GO