This is my second Lohan post today. She’s surfing in a one-piece and I am impressed by her athleticism. I’ve always wanted to be a surfer, at least ever since I saw Point Break. It looks like a lifestyle I could really connect with, unfortunately, I live in Canada, I am 300 pounds and I don’t know how to swim and I hate waking up early, so I’d really just want to sit on the beach creepin’ on girls all day, not that I like to refer to my life mission as creepy, I am just letting the rules of society get the better of me, because there’s nothing wrong with snappin’ off pics of unsuspecting girls as they tan while masturbating. That’s not creepy. Creepy would be following them to the public bathroom and raping them as they shower off the sand….or something. Fuck leave me alone. I don’t have the answers. I just know I need lunch.