I was trying to figure out why Lady Gaga was wearing a mirror on her uterus. At first I thought it was to let people watch themselves going down on her, so that they can be haunted by that low point for the rest of their fuckin’ lives, but then I realized it’s because bitch has a fucking gunt/muff gut like a 45 year old mother of 4, because she’s a fucking vile pig and rockin’ a mirror covering the shit makes some optical illusion that distracts people from her testicles, but I could be wrong, maybe it’s just an annoying fucking fashion statement, like not wearing pants on a flight around the fuckin’ world, like a fat slobby motherfucker who hasn’t left his couch for 5 days and all it does is make me wonder why it real girls don’t dress like this, because it seems like something I could appreciate on the right body, but instead we’re stuck with the ugly ones.
On a sidenote, I wrote this post while taking a vile shit, because it only seemed fitting. Thank god for laptops…