People ask me why I never started a news site. They ask why I write about myself and not about what celebrities are doing. I guess the answer comes in two parts. The first is that I don’t give a fuck about celebrities, but I do give a fuck about shit I see and do and experience and like to document it, because I drink too much and forget things after they happen. Second, I hate uneducated idiots who start up these sites and report the news that they didn’t create, make or break, and add their idiotic commentary to it, like they expect us to fuckin’ care. Not that it matters.
What does matter is that I just cast myself in the next season of The Hills as Heidi and Spencer’s murderer. I don’t get paid for the part, but I am pretty sure it’ll be fuckin’ rewarding, maybe even my life work.
That said, I hope you remembered your troops, or the poor hacks that got suckered in and died for an oppressive government who masked what they did as fighting for freedom when they already had real freedom back at home playing with their dogs, fuckin’ their wives, buyin’ their kids birthday gifts, fixing up an old boat or car, spending the afternoon with thir dad’s, watching superbowl with their friends and living a fuckin’ life that didn’t involve getting blown up in the fuckin’ dessert, while the top level government are flying around on private jets sipping champagne at your fuckin’ expense and I can only blame Heidi Montags.
While you were remembering that, I remembered my stepLINKS.
I Would Totally Stick My Falcid Peen in Miley Cyrus’s Whore Mother Just to See Fragments of the Shit the Made Miley Dried Up and Flaking Off My Shit….
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Here’s a Little Miley Vagina Peaking Out of Her Shorts to Show You How Fucked Up A Uterus Can Be
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Anya is About to Give ScarJo a Run For Her Money
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Alicia Keys Hottest Pics
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Okay These Infomercial Products Are Just Getting More and More Retarded
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Personally I’d Rather Work Out and Get a Giant Penis
But Let’s Laugh At These Self Absorbed Workout Assholes Anyways
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Evening Dress Thong Show
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I Still Wanna Bang Angelina Jolie
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Alessandra Ambrosio is Flawless
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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And The Shit From Japan Just Keeps Getting Weirder
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And While I’m At It, Probably Throw It In Camila Alves
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Go On Easy, Easy Rider!
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Fun With Music Videos
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Who the Fuck is January Jones and Why Isn’t My Penis In Her?
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Lookin Good Sweetheart – Audio Edition
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Kate Hudson Looks Kind of Disgusting with Dark Hair
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I’d Lke to Fuck MAry Kate Olsen in that Hate Fuck Kind of Way
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The Critics Are Stomping All Over Heath Ledgers Grave
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Striptease of the Day
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Just Say NO to Online Dating!!
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Man, Kevin Bacon is Having a Bad Few Months
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Simi’s Got Some Sweet Tits
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Spoiled Teen Crys Rape – VIDEO
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Because Weekend’s Aren’t Always What They Are Cracked Up To Be
Sometimes You Gotta Start the Week Off Right
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What Do You Think os Megan Jones’ Hairy Pussy?
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Shower of Puke – VIDEO
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Just You’re Every Day Typical Naked Girl Next Door
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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What Can I Say? Jean Claude Van Damme Has Still Got It
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Enjoy All You Can of Gisele – Heard She May Have Ruined Her Vagina With a Baby
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Rebecca Romijn is Topless
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Vickie is a Lady in REd
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And That’s What Friends Are For
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My Penis Just Went From 6 to 12 Thanks to Jessica Szohr
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Ariel in Blue
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I Would Kill Myself Too if I Was Second Rate to Kristen Dunst
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Keyboard Cat: True Hollywood Story
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Clay Aiken Has No Balls
I Know, I’m No Surprised Either
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The 24 Types of Pot Smokers
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Girl Masterbates – Nuff Said
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Can You Guess What the Backwards Song Is Before The End Of the Video
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