I was at an afterparty for the MMVA’s that Lady Gaga and Perez Hilton rolled into around 2 in the morning. I decided to try to get free booze out of them, but their security was too tight. At one point I got Perez Hilton’s attention for about 10 seconds when he wasn’t getting his face humped by some groupie dude who was hangin off the rafters, but he didn’t invite me up. Then Gaga made her way to the front where I was standing, I asked her for a drink and she looked at me like I was a dick for not trying to get her autograph or something, and didn’t let me up, so I reached around security and grabbed her ass hard, which isn’t even that bad of an ass, sure it’s fat and the legs are stalky, but next to that face of hers, shit’s heaven.
Around 10 minutes later, Will.I.Am rolled through, and I was pretty much right next to him, I think we may have been holding hands, cuz as he was holding Perez by the gay jacket with one hand, and Perez squirmed, I told him that if he wanted Perez hurt, I’d get it done for him, since he’s a big star and doesn’t need that kind of press, but I do need the publicity.
Within 2 minutes, Perez Hilton stormed out of the place and Will.I.Am followed. Unfortunately, my camera was stolen last night, but it was fuckin’ funny to see Perez eat his words and squirm, especially considering the motherfucker is as big as his head.
I hit his Twitter page and his she is all about how he is bleeding and called the cops, he’s just a pansy and definitely deserved it, making Will.I.Am the star of the fuckin day. I have no idea why or how i was holding hands with him, but I’m glad I was cuz this shit was soooo funny.