I spent a solid 4 hours in a bar last night trying to convince this one really decent lookin college girl who was probably new to town as she was alone at a pretty shitty bar cuz she didn’t know any better, to let me take nude pictures of her for an art project I was working on. I tried all angles for promises of stardom and fame, to bullshit art fag rationale you hear when idiots spend too much time analyzing something that wasn’t supposed to be analyzed in the first place. I told her shit like her body reminded me of the possiblity of a brighter tomorrow, shit like that her natural beauty brings hope in this culturally void, sleazy and disgusting society because it reminds us that something so pure and beautiful can exist. I said shit like that I was inspired by her and pulled every possible trick I have learned in the years of trying to get girls naked and really didn’t hold back on making myself look like a total asshole. I was making moves. I saw in her eye that she was about to bite and then I must have pushed shit too far cuz she ended up going home with the bass player in the houseband who she had met 5 miuntes earlier, when no one goes home with the bass player ever. Reminding me that I suck at life…
With all that work gone to waste, I decided to try it on some homeless woman, but she just answered in a series of yelps, beeps and grunts that I think translated into “I’m fucking crazy, I will bite your fucking dick off if you don’t give me a quarter”, which scared me nicely and saved me from having to try to scrub the smell of her rancid homeless cunt out of my couch.
I should have 10,000 Followers on Twitter, But I Don’t, Help Change That
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Here are my stepLINKS
Randy Quaid’s Mug Shot is All Sorts of Awesome. What a Profile!
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Because Your Web Came is Good For More than Just World of Warcraft
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Hayden Panty-Airs is Banging the Midget From Entourage
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Bear Grylls Ain’t So Tough Afterall
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80’s Toys That Should Be Movies
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Nicole Richie Upskirt Throwback
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Mayor Eric Brewer Seems to Love Dressing Up Like a Washed Up Hoe
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Who Wants to Fuck a Muppet?
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Where the Fuck Has Jessica Biel Been Anyways?
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Check Out the Legs on This Bitch
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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30 Shots of Awesome Bathroom Graffiti
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striptease of the Day
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Here’s a Video Called the Sex Lives of Robots
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Amanda Seyfried is Way Hotter Than She is Given Credit For
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I Have No Idea Who Tinsley Mortimer is, But She is a Blonde Slut Getting a Reality Show So I’m Sure We Will Be Seeing More of Her. Hopefully Naked At Some Point
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Ahhhhhh Halle Berry!
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Jude Law is Father of the Year
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Ashley Simpson Needs to Stop Getting Plastic Surgery For Fuck Sakes
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A Sitdown Segway is a Nerd Virgin’s Geeky Wet Dream
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Nadine in the Dungeon
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Girl Beats Up Her Loser Boyfriend
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These Sluts Use Anything and Everything to Get Off
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Bree Olsen Rides a Sybian
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Alice Goodwin is Worth a Wank or Two
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Random Photos of the Day
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CANDICE MICHELLE NAKED WITH ANOTHER PLAYBOY PLAYMATE … DAMN, THEY LOOK LIKE THEY ENJOY EACH OTHER’S PUSSY, DON’T THEY?
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Lohan May Be in Some Deep Shit
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Bianca Gascoigne
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Striptease in the Kitchen
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Sexy Candice Swanepoel Throwback
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Julia Crown is a Swedish Blonde
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Naked on the Radio
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College Footbal Cheerleader Fun
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Gotta Love Gymnasts
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Vanessa Hudgens Photoshoot
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Rugby Match Turns Into a Fucking Brawl!
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This Guys Dick Quite Possibly May Be Smaller Than Mine
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Here’s a Video of Lady Gaga Before She Turned Into a Fame Whoreing Self Absorbed Cunt
Girl Has Real Talent, Too Bad It’s Clouded By Her Stupidity
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Sand Animation is Pretty Awesome
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YOU’VE SEEN THE PICTURES, NOW HERE’S THE VIDEO OF CRAZY FUCKIN’ PAM ANDERSON GETTING NAKED ON THE RUNWAY IN NEW ZEALAND
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