Jessica Alba is Dora the Explorer of the Day

For you perverts who get off to kids shows….and I know you fucking exist. Because anything you can think someone jerks off to, there is probably someone who has and really when it comes to Dora the Explorer, who really can’t find her dark complexion and little shorts hot, especially considering she is an explorer, something that usually translates into “Adventurous Enough For Anal”, something Alba probably should have channeled the night she flipped the used condom inside out after skipping her birth control pill to get knocked up to lock Cash Warren in for life, but instead was too emotional and scared of being alone.

We get it bitch, you’re a mom, you know kids shows, just shut the fuck up and put on some lingerie. Couldn’t you have been Dora the Whore Explorer or some shit, this is useless….step it the fuck up Alba, or should we just call her a series of constant disappointments….

Bonus – Cash Warren Standing Next to Ass

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Jessica Alba is Dora the Explorer of the Day November 2nd, 2009