Someone found my number this weekend and wrote me a text message saying “I wanna fuck you”. I have no idea who the person is, but can only assume it’s a 45 year old man in women’s panties, or a fat chick. But I couldn’t let that opportunity go to waste, even if I knew it was a prank, so I’ve been texting the motherfucker back, demanding genital pics at all hours of the night, and I was even gonna post the number here for you all to get in on the fun, until I drove the person nuts enough to confess that they were playing a joke on me thanks to my fucking neighbor and all my fun and excitement of who the mystery person coulda been, like college girls in their panties having a pillow fight, or the loneley awkward girl I see working the pharmacy I go to who I know doesn’t think she is too good for me, flew out the fucking window, leaving me alone, and cold, but that’s just cuz my wife is at the Doctor, hoping to be diagnosed with an illness and my electricity has been out all fucking day….
Here’s Beyonce Falling Off Stage to Make Your Day a Better One….
And Here are my stepLINKS….
Betty White is Fucking Amazing – VIDEO
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Seriously, WTF is Up With These Idiots and Body Modification? – GALLERY
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Hot Pics Of Elle Macpherson
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Because If Your Monday Was As Hellish As Mine Was, Pulling One Out Will Ease the Pain
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Marisa Miller’s Ass Crack is Lookin’ Good
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Huge Boobs – A Documentary – VIDEO
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Man….Carrie Underwood? I Don’t Know…
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101 Topless Celebs
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Chinese News Explains Andy Dick’s Arrest Through Cheap CGI and It’s Amazing – VIDEO
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The Puppy Bowl Looked Way More Interesting Than the Superbowl – VIDEO
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The 20 Hottest Athlete Slut Photo Shoots of All Time
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Naked Amateur Cheerleader Masturbating – VIDEO
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Brooklyn Decker is Hot
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A Rod Continues to Stick His Penis is Anybody Blonde and in Hollywood
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Melissa Giraldo Photo Collection
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Let’s Hear It For Carol
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Awhhh Poor Little Wayne Can’t Take His iPod to Jail With Him!!
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Check Out Keri Hilson’s Incredible Ass Crack
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Tiffany and Her Fun With a Lesbo – VIDEO
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And a Little More Olivia Munn
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Sarah Palin is Most Probably Retarded
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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And More Brooklyn Decker
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How Awesome Would It Be If These Stories About Sam Ronson Beating Up Lindsay Lohan Are True
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Check Out the Rack on Caroline
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Megan Fox is in the Bath for Motorola – VIDEO
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Eve Angel is Stripping Down
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I Want Some of Shellie Sara
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What Her Valentine’s Day Gift Really Says
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Wheelie Fail – VIDEO
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Here’s the Dorito’s Super Bowl Commercial
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Michael Jackson’s Doctor is Officially Fucked
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Brandy and Sarah Play Beer Pong
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