I made 50 dollars today. It was a fucking joke. I went to every coffee shop in the area, threw a dime into the tip jar and took out a dollar, not one person caught on and it’s not really stealing considering they get paid by the hour anyway, it’s like free fucking money. Seriously, I have tried to steal in the past and I have always got busted, whether it was the Playboy VHS when I was 19 that landed me in the Security office of the local mall, or the pair of boxers I tried to steal cuz I shat myself that landed me in the fucking police station, thinking, wow, cops really have nothing better to do with their time, but all that taught me that I may not be very slick, but I guess I was today and now I’m going to get fucking drunker than usual, cuz my wife only gives me 20 dollars a day to live off of…On a side note, Lohan is writing a tell all book and I am trying to be the ghostwriter. Sure, I don’t really know how to write, but figure writing a chapter describing each sexual partner she’s had is really my life purpose…so if you know Lohan let her know I’m ready…okay…drinking time….
Paper Camera, Paper Chase
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a is Disgusting, Spouts Off About Some Thing Or Another
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Sex in the Middle of the Road in Germany? Why Not
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12 Superheroes That Are Actually Assholes
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Jerry Seinfeld’s Hottest Girls
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Because a Strong Grip Can Be the Best Friend You’ve Ever Had
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Mary Carey and Her Giant Tits
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Shauna Sand Looking Whorish, Probably On Her Way to the PTA Meeting to Bone Her Kids Teachers
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How To: Make People Angry – VIDEO
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Gaga’s Latest See Thru Costume
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Katherine Heigl Was Never Really Hot, But Man Bitch is Looking Beat
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Call Her Dr. Claw
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Gettin Dirty in the Bathroom – VIDEO
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart of the Day
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Model Catrin Claesen Showing Off Some Swimwear
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Veronica and Sara Are Worth Taking a Look At
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Beyonce is Lookin Hot in the Ads for Her Clothing Line House of Derrier (That means ASS, you uncultured fuck)
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Alicia Duvall is Trashy, Maybe Even a Bit Trashier Than I Usually Enjoy
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Admittedly, I’m a Sucker for a Feel Good Story Involving Puppies. Go Fuck Yourself – VIDEO
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Lucky, Lucky Lesbians
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Christina Hendrick’s Tits Are Just Fucking Insane
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Perfect 10? Maybe – Gallery
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Dancing With the Sluts
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Atheist College Group Exchanges Porn For Bibles
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Lindsay Lohan Probably Couldn’t Write Her Name, Let Alone a Book
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Pamela is Self Fisting
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Gotta Love a Man in a chicken Suit – VIDEO
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Nicolette Sheridan is Starting to Look Like the Geriatric She Is
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Almost Reese Witherspoon Vagina
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Some Joanna Krupa, Just Because
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And That’s Why You Don’t Show Off With Your Car – VIDEO
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Stripfilm of the Day
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Natalie Blair is Nude
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Jenny McClean is Nude in the Woods
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Follow Me to the Path of Enlightenment
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Bonus – Insane Shipping Container Turned into a Helicopter
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Also…………
I Got Paid To Write an Article For the First Time in My Life