Tori Spelling Gets Felt Up for Mother’s Day of the Day

Nothing says “I love you mom, thanks for bringing me into the world and being here for me all these years” like grabbing her fucking tit as the paparazzi stage pictures that Wal-Mart would call the authorities about if we were still a “printed film” generation, back when inappropriate pictures of kids had to be run through a middle man, before the digital era made catching the motherfuckers a question of how well an FBI agent could mimic the typing style of a 7 year old in a Sponge Bob Square Pants chatroom…..but I digress…. this post isn’t about the disgusting dark world of kiddie porn, it’s about the beautiful bond a child has with his mother that I’ll never know because my mother died when I was a kid, but that I do know if she didn’t, I woulda made them tits mine for life, cuz I figure if you give me the shit as a kid, they are rightfully mine, otherwise you’re an indian giver, making Thanksgiving Dinner very awkward for the guests when my 40 year old ass busts out her tit for desert, but so beautiful for me, cuz mother and son bond is so strong that it just can’t be torn apart…especially when there’s titty involved…cuz I love tit and any excuse to play with tit so Tori Spelling’s kid has right idea, and really Tori Spelling should embrace it because she used to have the scariest fucking fake tits around so it’s nice to see someone finally appreciate the shit….

Pics via Fame

Tori Spelling Gets Felt Up for Mother’s Day of the Day May 7th, 2010