I don’t know who Zooey Deschanel is, I just know that her name always reminds me of my friend who took the “petting zoo” too literally. I don’t actually have a friend who fucks animals, I have friends who fuck women who are so ugly I’d rather fuck an animal, and the only person I know who used to fuck animals was a Turkish muslim dude who would fuck dogs because jerking off and fucking bitches was against his religion and for some reason wasn’t embarrassed about telling me the story at least 4 times in the last 4 years….
I do know that Zooey Deschanel looks like the kind of girl I wouldn’t notice on the street. You know the obscure geek hipster who I just assume is a lesbian who would go to the public pool in vintage bathing suits and not just wear them in photoshoots and really who fucking cares…I know I don’t….