There comes a time in every fat chick’s life where she gets recognized and rewarded for her hard eating. I guess that day was yesterday for Jessica Simpson, where she wasn’t just asked to be in the prestigious thanksgiving parade by riding on a float, she was asked to be a fucking float. Now I don’t know if she was their emergency back-up cuz a tire blew out on the Butterball sponsored Float and she just happened to be at head office stocking up on supplies, you know right place right time….making her some hefty Thanksgiving hero…and I’d like to give thanks to her horrible diet on this beautiful hungover friday…