I have had the unfortunate experience of hanging out with Nicole Richie for a night. It was back in the DJ AM days (RIP, motherfucker), when he invited me to attend a gig he was playing in town before anyone really knew who he was, after the crack addiction and gastric bipass but before The Simple Life, internationally known celebrity DJ….
I barely got into the event, the security were motherfuckers, they tour manager told me I was fat and that DJ AM wouldn’t know people like me, but for some reason someone stepped in and carted me around with Nicole Richie the whole night.
I tried to steal her cellphone, I tried to make jokes about Lohan, It was like talking to a fucking useless, retarded troll who I wasn’t even interested in fucking and the whole experience wasn’t memorable, I just know she’s a bottom feeding loser first hand cuz I saw it, and I guess so did Lionel Richie when he felt forced to take her in and the Good Charlotte sister who knocked her up was just doing it cuz she was the only semi-famous pussy with no shame who would be into hanging with such a fucking clown.
That said, I got her number years later, I called her and she told me off and changed her number. Then I followed her on twitter and she blocked me and got all her friends to block me too. So it is safe to say that she’s not a fan of me either.
I always knew she had something shoved way up her ass, and not just an itch from bad hygiene, or Good Charlotte herpes, or underwear riding up her ass, or even a butt plug, but an actual object that is causing her pain and making her angry due to discomfort and I can only assume it is a crackpipe she shoved up there when she got arrested and here are some pics of her trying to get it out.