I just assumed that people who go to see movies like Spy Kids, especially grown men who don’t have kids are just real fucking perverts who you gotta look out for in the movie theater cuz they may be there to masturbate on your kids popcorn when you’re not looking…..you know kinda like me when I went to see that teenage hot chick movie about cheerleading or gynastics or some shit when wasted…only to be in a room full of 14 year olds who looked at me like I was creepy as fuck…cuz lets face it, I am….
But it turns out that there’s a whole diverse level of perversion at the Spy Kids premiere…there’s shit for everyone of all different fetishes to get off to…not just the pedos….
Here’s the unofficial list of the fetishes that were in attendence…
Alba pregnancy extreme pregnancy…for the Ready to Drop Porn Lovers
Charlotte Ross extreme legs….
Rachel Fox Some 15 Year Old….for the Sex Offenders
Verne Troyer for the Midget Fetishists
Electra Avellan for the Twin Fetishists even though she’s not with her twin…..
Alexa Vega for the Haggard looking 22 year old with Colombian father’s and model mothers who was an amateur Gymnast Fetishists…..yeah this one’s a real fucking stretch but I like to view it as a highly targeted fetish
Holly Robinson Peete for the Black Chick pushing 50 but who is from 1990’s ABC Sitcoms Fetishists….
And the Kool Aid guy for the real fucking weirdos who love fucking mascots and marketing icons for shitty brands….
This post is one of my dumbest…