I just applied for a job at Gawker, cuz I figure they are the only site that matters in 2012….even though I never go to ti….but I have a feeling I won’t get it…
.
Dear Gawker,
My name is Jesus Martinez and I would like to work for your company.
I don’t have a resume because I do not feel my talents can be properly communicated in words, but I was a guest blogger at Fleshbot for a week back when Gawker owned Fleshbot, which is probably before your time working at Gawker, dear reader.
The only link to any work I have done can be found at http://www.drunkenstepfather.com
There are 10,000 articles written by me, amongst all the garbage, there must be one good enough to work for your company at the entry level.
I have also written for other sites…from Fashion to Music to Viral Videos…but none of that matters…as nothing really matters.
I can do your job better than you can, and that’s why I deserve it.
Now let’s fucking circle jerk, I find it helps build company morale….
With Love,
I should apply for jobs all the time….
Here are some links…
The Eagle Snatching the Kid VIDEO is FAKE
FOLLOW THIS LINK
When I Die, I Wanna Come Back As a Fox – VIDEO
FOLLOW THIS LINK
Heather Knox is More Than Most of Us Could Handle (NSFW)
FOLLOW THIS LINK
What A Sexy And Festive Funeral Home Commercial! – VIDEO
FOLLOW THIS LINK
Olivia Paige is a Small Town Girl Who Likes to Get Dirty
FOLLOW THIS LINK
And Now, The Ultimate Urban Playground
FOLLOW THIS LINK
James Franco Says Lindsay Lohan Keeps Failing At Life Because She Gets Book Deals. Wait, What?
FOLLOW THIS LINK
Sophia Vergara is Always Easy on the Eyes
FOLLOW THIS LINK
We Tumblforya: Self Shot Fails
FOLLOW THIS LINK
Free Cam Shows Brings the Sexy and You Love It (NSFW)
FOLLOW THIS LINK
Gotta Love a Super Sexy Amateur in the Morning (NSFW)
FOLLOW THIS LINK
6th-Grader Pulls Gun on Classmates at Utah School; Did His Parents Give it to Him?
FOLLOW THIS LINK
Jenna Has Some Big Old Tits, Check It Out (NSFW)
FOLLOW THIS LINK
All I Want for Christmas is a BACON YULE LOG! – VIDEO
FOLLOW THIS LINK
The Eagle Snatching the Kid is FAKE
FOLLOW THIS LINK