Emily Ratajkowski hates me and rejects all my offers to marry her and show her a good life in my one room basement apartment with no heat….that I share with my obese wife….
I was willing to share my everything with her….even my last bottle of bourbon….while we sit in the cold…singing love songs and gazing into each other’s eyes…as my obese wife snores and struggles to breathe with her apnea…
Unfortunately for me, she was having none of that…but that just means I need to put in more work…to make her a believer…because true love like this is not something you let slip away…it is something you slip inside and snuggle up next to….
That said, love and romance aside, she is the future, she is what Kate Upton was supposed to be….a natural and amazing body….that people should be celebrating…cuz it deserves to be celebrated….especially since beneath that lovely skin….and phyical perfection