My ongoing Emily Osment joke is that she is Haley Joel Osment….and it never gets old…if anything, the more I say it, the more real it feels….now a little backstory for those of you who don’t understand….Haley Joel Osment was the Jennifer Lawrence of his time, Oscar nominated at 8, cast in every movie that needed a kid, or that was made by Steven Spielberg….but then he hit puberty….and no one wanted to touch him….cuz puberty made him fucking awkward and the only way to get that taste of fame that he was so addicted to….was to repackage himself as a chick….and thus the transformation began….and today it brings us to the beach in her bikini….
I could be wrong about my theory…it happens…but I think it makes her more interesting and that if anything she should hire me to be her publicist…I do magical things with lies….